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The Critical Role a Pause Plays in Your Life

Choices. We all like choices, don’t we?

Chocolate chip or peanut butter cookies? A long soaking bath or a steamy warm shower? Now, if that were the most significant decision you must make, wouldn’t life be easier?

I never kept track of how many decisions I made throughout my caregiving days. Some days are relatively straightforward, others like a blur. One of our support group participants has been a stellar example of how much one person can do, but the weight of it all becomes too much, as often happens. She realized it was time to bring home health to help ease the day-to-day, which can be a gut-wrenching but necessary decision.

We want to or think we can do it all, don’t we?

When we try to do it all the root core of us weakens, and the more we deny the inevitable, the weaker we become at effective decision-making. I admire this woman tremendously but have been worried about how much longer she would sustain the pace. Her decision to bring help in was difficult, thinking that she should have been able to do it all herself.

Along with encouragement, I gave her questions and thoughts to be sure she would make an informed decision when speaking with providers, encouraging her to communicate with multiple providers to feel comfortable with her choice. Ultimately it was the right choice for everyone to move forward with in-home care.

Becoming self-aware of emotions and thresholds is essential for any of us, but surely as caregivers. Finding ways to pull yourself back before the tipping point can make a difference.

You can create a shift within yourself effortlessly.

Try this short, effective exercise that can shift your life energy and, ultimately, for those around you as well:

  • If you feel overwhelmed by the task at hand, stop.

  • Take a minute to walk outside or even to another room.

  • Place your hand over your heart and take five or so deep breaths.

  • Focus your energy on the moment––your breathing, your heartbeat. Just BE in the moment.

Today I paused and made myself a cup of ‘Inspiration and Joy’ tea. A delightful way to break up the day and enjoy a bit of wellness. A simple pleasure and form of self-care midstream. It doesn’t have to be a significant event; everything you do can make a difference. How about a pause and a cup of tea today?


Cyndi Mariner

Breathing Spaces

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