Have you ever walked into a room and felt sad before anyone spoke? Or go into the grocery store in a great mood, list in hand, and you're ready to scream by the time you leave? This is energy. It's a powerful tool that, if recognized, can be a helpful life tool.
For family caregivers, your loved one may be filled with doubt, fear, loneliness, and sometimes even ashamed of what they are experiencing. Becoming more aware of their energy when you're around them and having the ability to navigate your way to the root cause can be a powerful skill.
When you enter the room, clear your mind of your day and observe what is happening. Listen with an open mind to what they say, and ask questions to understand better what is happening. Giving them space to know they are being heard is essential to someone aging or ill.
Sometimes, it's the energy between the words where the emotions hide — so listening, observing, and feeling the energy become critical skills. The alternative is assumptions which can lead to arguments and mistakes that can ruin relationships. The choice of words we use and the infliction behind our voice is essential to pay attention to.
What you need and how you feel are necessary to express to your loved one. When you hold on to your emotions, something could be said in anger, and no one wins. So how you phrase it is meaningful, and opening up the communication can be powerful for you both.
Here's an example; "It's difficult for me to know that you are in pain, and I can only imagine the thoughts that must race through you at times. Is there something that you can talk to me about or share with me? Please know I'm here for you."
Speaking your truth and hearing what others are saying is important. It erases the middle of the nights; "If only….." that happen. We are all human beings navigating our way through this thing called life. Please, don't be afraid to speak your truth, listen to others, and have a compassionate heart. The world and your loved ones need more of it. So do you.
B-R-E-A-T-H-E.
Hugs,
Cyndi Mariner
Breathing Spaces
