Remembering the argument you had with your loved one, you can hear the last words dangling on the edge of your memory. Why do things have to get so heated up sometimes – especially over the most minor things? Those words rebound in your memory while you wish there had been a different ending.
I'd be willing to guess that we've all had those moments of regret, and when you've lost that loved one, the cut goes even deeper. The guilt arises over wishing you had spoken differently and reacted otherwise, yet knowing you'll never be able to take those words back. Or re-address them under calmer situations.
Regret doesn't solve anything, but considering how things may have gone differently, can help in the future. Remembering back to the time, knowing how tired you were from a poor night's sleep, skipping lunch because you had so much to do, and hearing a 'voice' in your head suggesting you postpone getting together with your loved one knowing how drained you were. Yet you felt you 'had' to be there and, in the end, regret that you did.
We know you can't take things back that have already been said and done. But insight is always helpful. Ask yourself – could I have acted/spoken in any other way? Doing so helps you clear the air, at least in your mind, and gives way to being able to change circumstances the next time.
Lesson learned? Listen to yourself. Honor yourself. If you hear that voice saying 'don't do that now' – don't if it is possible not to. Your inner guidance system is often spot on, so honor it as best you can. Don't let regret and guilt swallow you up later.
Speak your truth to the other person and clear the air so neither of you has a sour taste from the incident. We have all had those moments. It's better to talk about it than spin on wishing you had done it differently, and even after speaking with them, let it go.
We are all imperfect, and we all make mistakes. Heed the lessons from your inner guide – they are our internal tuning forks and there for a reason, including nudging you to continue to honor yourself even through the muddy times.
Hugs,
Cyndi Mariner
Breathing Spaces
