You are the common denominator in all that happens in your world. You don’t have control over everything, but you control how you show up and react to it.
Here’s a scenario: someone asks you to attend a gathering, and you feel compelled to go. You don’t want to, but what would they think of you if you didn’t? Ask these questions: Why don’t you want to go? Why do you feel compelled to go? What would happen if you honored yourself and didn’t go?
I’ll ask you to pay particular attention to the last question. Honoring yourself is the greatest gift you can give yourself and others, even if that means saying ‘no.’ We’ve all done something because we feel compelled to, but the energy from that isn’t good for anyone.
Finding ways to honor yourself and your choices enables you to be more present for others. When you continue to say ‘yes,’ whether it is agreeing to do something or staying in an unhealthy relationship (of any kind) that you have the power to leave, it is important to pull back and asses the why.
It’s easy to become complacent and continue doing something, but who wins when it’s not good for you? I think we sometimes go into ‘default mode,’ overdoing things that are unhealthy for us and not feeling secure in our truth. But we can change situations when we want to.
I know many of you fall into a caregiving role that prevents you from walking away. But is there another resolution to situations that occur? Solutions that you may not be looking at? Tunnel vision is a trait of humans, and getting stuck in a rut is easy. But I ask you this – can you step back, perhaps write down feelings of the why and why not, and add a column of alternative solutions? A new way of looking at things, different ways to communicate, and reaching out to others for help?
Perhaps it’s creating a new routine for yourself. You always get up at 7 AM, read through social media or the news while having breakfast, and then off to your daily role. What if you changed the routine to include something insightful/uplifting?
Change your thinking – change your life. Don’t forget to change the mental lens filter on your eyes and see hope in the world. Be the change you wish to see; let it begin with you.
Hugs,
Cyndi Mariner
Breathing Spaces
