There comes a time in our lives when the past feels parallel with where we are as we have a flashback to specific moments. Time passes all too quickly, and as family caregivers, the 'Wished I had...' and 'Gosh, if only...' can be consuming. Rewinding the tape can happen often, and regret is the typical outcome.
Something that can help with the regrets of forgetting something due to having so many things to do is prioritizing. Here are a few tips to help:
Make a list of everything that needs to be done. I know this can be daunting sometimes, but if you write down tasks randomly in a notebook throughout your days, you can get most of the things down.
Go back through the list and prioritize it with the most urgent tasks towards the top.
Add checkboxes to keep track of (and celebrate) your accomplishments.
Include doing something positive to boost your emotions (yep, that self-care thing) and something that might also brighten your loved ones' day. The last thing you want is to go to sleep with "I wish…..".
Family caregiving can be a bit of a time warp. Some days go so slowly, and others, you blink, and they're gone. Having everything down in one place can be so beneficial, and if someone needs to step in to help, it's easy for them to get caught up as well. Don't let your life slip by too fast or miss out on time spent with your loved one. Getting things prioritized can open up space for enjoying simple moments.
I watched a family across the street yesterday; while the husband was being pushed in his wheelchair up to a medical transport vehicle, his wife stood behind him, hands on her hips and head tilted to the side; she appeared to be barely breathing. From 100 feet away, I could feel the despair and fear. Though I had no idea what was happening, it was heartbreaking to watch and feel the energy swirling — flashbacks of past moments, perhaps. It made me wonder what their days were like before this and what the days ahead may include.
Pay attention to what is right in front of you. Pay attention to what your heart is seeking. Eliminate a stack of to-dos and moments of regrets.
Don't live your life with regret.
Hugs,
Cyndi Mariner
Breathing Spaces
