Fall brings on a sense of change and is a time of year that I look forward to. I am in awe of the colors changing, and the temperatures getting cooler gives me a nudge to turn inwards. A time of reflection and the ability to clear out what is no longer serving me.
We all need a sense of renewal and releasing of patterns, things that no longer serve us. Replaying conversations that you wish had gone differently that keep reappearing in your mind, it's time to let them go.
Regardless of your caregiver role, an unpleasant situation can happen where you have made an error. Perhaps you've responded in a way you wish you hadn't, or wish you had taken a few more minutes before launching into a decision that did not result in the best outcome. You are not alone. What is important to remember is that we are all human, and the potential for reacting differently the next time is equally possible.
Follow those times up with reflection. Whether you journal it (my recommendation) or sit quietly with yourself and reflect on the situation. Were you panicked that no decision would be the worst? Were you feeling pressure from someone to respond? Were you carrying on a conversation with someone else that did not go well with you when you came home and reacted badly to something?
Our mental tapes are powerful. It is easy to go over the conversation when something terrible happens. Maybe it's many different events coming at you simultaneously, and you're overwhelmed. Perhaps something from the past is raising its ugly voice, again, over and over. Sometimes, you need to go through it. The good, bad, and ugly parts. That's the key. Go through it. Don't sweep it under the carpet; let it come up, journal about it, and scream if you need to. But go through it.
It's a gift to be able to talk to someone that might help give light to a situation you would not have seen otherwise. Talking with a professional therapist can be helpful at times. To shed light on places you may not be able to yourself. Please don't ever feel like you need to do this, Alone.
Turn into fall. As the season changes, allow yourself to shed unwanted layers and renew. Feel the peace around you and let it happen within you, too.